TKZ: Thirty K Zone

“HEY YOU PSYCHO, WE KNOW YOU’RE TAKING PICTURES OF US FOR YOUR WEBSITE”

Thirty K Zone — Tue, 24 May 2011 03:40:51 +0000

Sweeter words have never been uttered at a bar. I have never felt more successful as a stalker, and as a renowned journalist.

Tonight, while eating the worst Avocado and Brie Sandwich at the Green Room’s shady new youngest sibling “The Pour Boy Pub”, my fellow diner and I spotted local drummer from the hit Toronto band Moderngirls Modernboys (who will be playing at NXNE this year), “Brent Mellius”. I managed to get two creepy photos of the back of his head on my Iphone 4, but, as you, the reader can clearly see, the “jock’ type guy who was sitting them, clearly notices me and my covert picture taking in the second photo. It was then, he shouted the words I will again repeat from my headline “HEY YOU PSYCHO, WE KNOW YOU’RE TAKING PICTURES OF US FOR YOUR WEBSITE”. I have no idea who this Jock guy is, or who the plain looking female date who accompanied him is either. But the point is,
he knew of ME. And in the end, isn’t that really what’s most important?

UM – MEN WITHOUT HATS ARE PLAYING NXNE THIS YEAR!

Thirty K Zone — Thu, 12 May 2011 03:12:03 +0000

THIS IS MORE EXCITING THAN IN THE MID 90′S WHEN “MW/OH” SINGER “IVAN” DEBUTED HIS SOLO DANCE SINGLE ON ELECTRIC CIRCUS!

ALSO, DEVO WILL BE THERE BUT DEVO HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE LATELY AND I AM SICK OF THEM.

ENOUGH - NO ONE CARES

ALSO EXCITING ABOUT NXNE THIS YEAR? LEMONHEADS HOTTIE EVAN DANDO PERFORMING WITH JULIANA HATFIELD?? I MEAN WHAT IS THIS? A SEPTEMBER 1994 ISSUE OF SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE?

AND LET’S NOT FORGET LOCAL SENSATIONS “MODERNGIRLS MODERNBOYS” ARE ON THE LINE UP AS WELL THIS YEAR. CONGRATS TO BRENT, ACURA AND THE BOYS FOR STILL GOING STRONG AMIDST AWKWARD RUMORS THAT THE BAND’S DRUMMER HAD PUNCHED OUT THE FEMALE LEAD SINGER OF ANOTHER LOCAL BAND LAST SUMMER. THIS RUMOR WAS STARTED BY A JILTED WOMAN NAMED SAFFRON, SO THERE IS NO WAY OF VERIFYING WHETHER OR NOT THIS INCIDENT IS TRUE. BUT I WILL SAY THIS. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR A MEMBER OF MODERNGIRLS MODERNBOYS WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN DRINKING. AND IF I DO CROSS PATHS WITH THEM, I WILL WEAR A HELMET JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

I'm not even sure if any of these people are actually in the band

What do happy childhood memories, the moon landing and Osama Bin Laden have in common?

Thirty K Zone — Wed, 04 May 2011 04:11:07 +0000

They never existed.

Osama Bin Laden is the boogeyman I’ve been brainwashed into hating over the last ten years, just as I was to hate Saddam Hussein back in grade 4.

They could have produced better, more convincing pictures of him, but every single image, shows a kind face and malice free eyes.

I don’t know if he found out their little Illuminate secrets so the retaliated by making him the world’s #1 enemy, but all I can say is this.

Bush and Obama both distantly related through the Merovingian bloodline?

Bin Laden is killed just as suspected Antichrist, Prince William becomes the biggest star in the world along with his bride who now has fulfilled the “I hope one day my parents get rich and I end up with Prince William” fantasy that has plagued so many children of poverty.

Bush and Obama both benefit from this successful killing of an unarmed man without giving him a fair trial, whether they are working for Prince William, it is too early to tell. If the other side had done this, they would be accused of committing war crimes.

Royal Wedding – Schmoyal Schmedding! Here’s the real money shot!

Thirty K Zone — Tue, 03 May 2011 15:06:47 +0000

Here’s is Canada’s royal couple, in an honest, loving embrace last night after the Conservative’s surprising majority win!!!

Second City Level A 8-week course on sale for $95 – normally $300

Thirty K Zone — Mon, 02 May 2011 14:47:33 +0000

Hey there,

Over the years I’ve had several dramatic associates who’ve taken and loved this course. I always wanted to be an actress, but sadly, as well as I can recite lines, I suck shit at Improv and am a very uncreative person.

Because of this Living Social deal, I might cave and take the classes, as this is a HUGE discount!

Click here to buy the deal

Also, P.S. Osama Bin Laden is dead!

Sitting in The Peanut Gallery at the Wintergarden Theatre

Thirty K Zone — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 22:43:19 +0000

I think I see Geordie Johnson from YTV’s Dracula and Durham County sitting in one of the balconies but I can’t get a decent pic.

Right now Ontario’s minister of Tourism is highly praising Dalton McGuinty and the Liberal government.

Hot Docs opens tonight at the Wintergarden Theatre

Thirty K Zone — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:42:22 +0000

And I have a ticket to the party!

Tonight’s inaugural showing will be “POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold,” directed by Morgan Spurlock of “Supersize Me” fame. Spurlock says “the 90-minute feature was financed entirely by product placement, marketing and advertising”.

Regardless of how good or bad this film is, it will be much less depressing than the last time I visited the theatre; Which was two years ago, to see the stage version of “Tuesdays With Morrie”, starring actor Hal Linden of Tv’s Barney Miller, one week before my grandfather died. Hal Linden’s on stage death was even more awkward to watch than Ted Neeley’s performance on the cross when I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar.

Totally not pulling a scam here – Free Massage, Facial and Manicure

Thirty K Zone — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:47:39 +0000

I’m addicted to those group buy websites like Groupon, Webpiggy, Teambuy etc.

Today’s Teambuy deal is $59 for an RMT Massage, 30 minute manicure and 30 minute facial.

The kicker is, if you have massage coverage with your work insurance, you get a $55 RMT receipt so that you can be reimbursed by your insurance provider. So basically it’s a free massage, facial, and manicure on your insurance provider’s tab.

Here’s the link to buy the deal:

http://www.teambuy.ca/toronto/referral/54b87870/28131463/

Is this Paul Gross’ house?

Thirty K Zone — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 01:45:32 +0000

Someone I work with told me they think this house belongs to actor Paul Gross of Due South and the tragically short-lived “Eastwick” fame. It’s down the street from my apartment, so earlier this evening when I was walking my beloved Pughasa, Esther around the Davisville neighborhood, I creepily stopped to take a picture of the luxurious looking manor from across the street. After I took the picture, I noticed a teenaged Bergdorf blonde, Branksome Hall type girl, carrying a designer handbag, enter through the front door of the home. I don’t know whether she saw me or not. Anyways, here is a photo of the humble abode. Can any of you readers out there confirm whether or not I am indeed neighbors with the hunky Paul Gross?

SHOULD I BUY THIS USED PURPLE VELOUR CHAIR OFF CRAIGSLIST?

Thirty K Zone — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:52:39 +0000